Modern Douchebag General

Zur’s the very model of a Modern Douchebag General
For players pathological, degenerate and criminal.
He’s the king of douches, coz he tutors Aristotical
And makes the Timmies weep with concessions categorical.
He fetches up enchantments Emyprial and Diplomatical.
And then protects his boardstate with a lot of counterspell.
He powers out so quickly coz he’s packing quite a lot of mox.
And then he stops your mana by dropping down the Stasis locks.
For mana ramp he’ll Mana Crypt and Mana Vault and Mana Drain
And if he dies he’ll Replenish to start it all back up again.
In short for players pathological, degenerate and criminal.
Zur is the very model of a Modern Douchebag General.

He runs tutors, Enlightened, Mystical and Imperial.
To dodge removal he’ll Vanish into mists that seem ethereal.
He finds just what he needs by spinning the Divining Top.
And as he doesn’t play cards he can wait for the Standstill to pop.
He’ll take your favourite creature and put them into a Prison Term,
Of Rings of Oblivion your best permanent is about to learn.
His power to draw cards has potence Necronomical,
With Coronet to regain life back to values astronomical.
He’ll Armaggedon to blow up lands, and Winds of Rath to sweep the board
And once he’s done opponents quit because they are so fucking bored.
In short for players pathological, degenerate and criminal.
Zur is the very model of a Modern Douchebag General.